My Favorite Parts *cough* Of The Soon-To-Be-Classic Film Magic Mike (Spoilers, Kinda?)
- Channing Tatum crying in a darkened car.
- Imagining what Channing Tatum will look like when he’s fifty, slightly puffy, with a Nick Nolte-esque steely glaze in his eyes, doing films about washed-up ranchers and has-been athletes. An overinflated Gary Cooper.
- The woman behind us mishearing “how pregnant did you get her mouth?” as “I’m pregnant, did you get her number?” and “repeating” it out loud, laughing at her own misheard bit of dialogue. (Soderbergh: give that lady a call.)
- Everything said by the woman behind us, really.
- The sound of dozens of midwestern women very obviously wanting to sex the hell out of the men on that screen, who by all accounts, with a few grinding exceptions, were performing a very mild Hollywood striptease. Or, when they weren’t wanting to sex them, they very obviously wanted to mother them, as evidenced by tuts of concern when young Adam appeared to be headed for trouble. (For this reason alone, I highly recommend seeing it while it’s in the theaters, unless you’re hiding a bunch of midwestern women in your apartment, in which case I might have to call the police on you, but don’t they throw a fantastic potluck?)
- Blurry Corner Penis, and the subsequent ripple of shrieking realization that trickled around the room.
- Matthew McConaughey. Best performance since Dazed and Confused. It was the first time I actually left a film saying “That film could have done with a bit more Matthew McConaughey.”
- Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer humping a metal picnic table by the go-cart track. SEXIEST SCENE FIVE STARS THAT’S A WRAP.
